she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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