It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
