Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just took my morning after pill in the library
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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