this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.