yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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