If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
