this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
