In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
