I'm really into asian looking animals
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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