He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
