I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
