Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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