apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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