I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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