Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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