Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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