it wasn't lemon gatorade
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize