She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
