I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
