I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
