Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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