can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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