can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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