HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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