I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
