So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
