this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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