Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize