I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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