He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
