i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
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you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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