I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
