he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
