I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well I just put wine in my tea
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is Oprah even human
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize