He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
