Nicole vs. Life
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
