K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
