Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Cover your peen. We're going out.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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