My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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