we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize