Whats the glycemic index on semen?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
