I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize