So drunk its hurt
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think people are normalizing furries
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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