You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
