No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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