We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
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Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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