If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
