Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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