just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
ok first of all what the fuck
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
