did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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