but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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