Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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