in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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