Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
