Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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