how can u be prego again
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
