it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There's always time for handjobs
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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