Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
