I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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